NaNoWriMo - Day 26

On keeping a discipline.

When I was in college, comedian Nick Offerman came out with a standup special. I remember listening to it as I packed up my room at the end of a school year. One bit stood out to me: He emphasized the importance of keeping a discipline. A discipline is a skill or art you practice regularly with the aim of progressing. His discipline is woodworking.

My discipline is classical piano. I’ve played piano since I was 7 years old. It was the only non-negotiable thing my sister and I had to at least try at our mom’s insistence. While I’ve gone through various stages of competency at playing the piano, I’m finding that it’s an anchor for me right now. The electric keyboard opposite my desk has been a fine retreat in these past weeks.

Practicing used to be something that I’d squeeze in if I had the time and energy. Sometimes even if I had both, I’d still shirk it. But now, I can prioritize it. It used to make me feel stressed out because I’d sit at the keys and think about my inadequacy, the time I wasted over past years not practicing. Then I’d start overthinking about everything else I believed I’d wasted time on, and how I was nowhere near where I’d imagined myself.

Now, practicing is productive. If I’ve practiced, I’ve spent part of my day in a healthy way. The trick is that practicing was always productive, but now my standards are lower.

Piano is a good discipline for me because it doesn’t come naturally to me. As someone who’s always fixated on effortlessness, I can rely on piano as a concrete reminder that practicing does pay off. I can hear and feel myself getting better as long as I practice regularly. My partner and mom also play piano, so sharing this discipline with them is a form of bonding.

(You could argue that choir is another discipline, but honestly I don’t practice that every day.)

Nor do I aspire to be all that good at piano. I will proudly share that even after 2 decades of playing, I’m mediocre at best (and that’s when I’m practicing regularly). I don’t care to perform it or make money from it. It epitomizes process over result. While practicing piano, I’m also practicing patience, creative thinking, attention to detail, and capacity for frustration. This discipline imparts more than the ability to play an instrument.

Right now I’m working on Mozart’s variations on Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I like this work because it comprises 13 brief pieces, which naturally breaks up the learning process. Of course, while each variation carries the theme’s essence, they’re also distinct, which makes learning it interesting but not horribly difficult.

I enjoy and appreciate playing the piano probably more now than I ever have before in my life. It’s gratifying to see yourself get better at something, and even more gratifying to know that it really doesn’t matter how good you are at it.